Revisiting some places and events that reminds me of the way things used to be....I try to push the pain away and be strong, to handle it on my own, because I'm sick of crying. I've cried enough over this already. I thought they were old wounds. They still hurt.
Sometimes I feel so alone. I've never talked about this to anyone. It hurts so much, but around everyone I don't let it show. I smile, or keep my face emotionless. Or I look away and hide my face so they can't see the hurt written all over it.
It has gotten better. Much better. This time last year, I could not imagine a future this bright, or that I even had a future. Sometimes I feel so happy and so free, and I relish the moment, because there was a time when I could not imagine being happy.
Life is not perfect. It will never be. But there are so many good things in life, and through my difficult time I have learned a lot. I learned a few things about God, and His love for me, and though I don't always turn to Him first when I'm hurting, I know He's always there and always will be.