There's power in the knowledge that you are wanted.
And some stupid, stupid part of me wants it all back.
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He came back to me today.
There's power in the knowledge that you are wanted. And some stupid, stupid part of me wants it all back.
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Tomorrow, and all the days after, I’m gonna stand up straight and smile, because these same eyes that are not looking back at you are the same eyes that are gonna glow with the confidence of womanhood one day. Imma fake it till I make it, momma, And show the world that says it can't be done. On that day, when I felt like you didn’t believe in me... it hurt me something fierce. But someday, all the eyes and the mouths and the days that stole hope from me are gonna be nothing more than a distant memory. So here's to the day when all the things that I pretend you don't say won’t matter anymore. These beautiful things fall apart so easily.
It was innocent and you thought you'd keep it, until the day you didn't. The things you do without thinking twice are gonna keep you up at night And leave the lonely ocean on your pillow. He said he wanted no one else but you He said he wanted no one else but you We can't ever fully know ourselves. Our feelings take us by surprise sometimes.
Sometimes people hurt you without even trying.
This is not a statement meant to be used as an excuse for feeling sorry for yourself. It is a simple fact of life. I wrote this some time ago:
You are beautiful. Stop criticizing your reflection in the mirror or comparing yourself to others. Stop judging yourself based on your comparison of yourself to others. Stop letting others judge you with their words and actions. Their judgment of you only matters if you decide it does. They can only affect you if you let them. Define yourself. Take charge. Be the person that you want to be. Don't cower in fear from the judgment of others; speak your mind. Your voice is worth hearing. Your opinion matters. It sounds simple. It's like something you read every day. It's commonplace advice. You can hear it on the radio, coming from the mouths of motivational speakers, or see it on a poster slathered onto a classroom door. It's easy to read over and glaze over. Much harder to put into practice. It's so very easy to sink into the feeling of not being good enough. To accept that. Because it's comfortable and its something familiar. I look at others who excel at something that I want to be good at, and I get discouraged. I compare who I think I am to who I think they are and I feel that I can never compare. And I never stop and think how wrong it is of me to think like that. That short paragraph that I wrote, I wrote for myself. It was something I needed to hear. Because sometimes pushing against my insecurities feels like I'm pushing against the wind. Like I can never really win. I think I may have a diagnosable condition of insomnia.
I can't fall asleep before 2AM on most nights, and lately, I've been up 'till 6AM. This sucks. Today was not that great....I won't elaborate, bcuz that's depressing, and there's enough negativity in the world. ...On a positive note, to counter my previous negativity, a word of encouragement: If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you will never change the outcome. -Michael Jordan Sometimes answered prayers come in disguises and we don't recognize them. Sometimes we forget the sighs we've sighed over the rain and forget to be thankful when the sun shines again.
Life has improved greatly since I last wrote. Today was a wonderful day. Those words mean a lot to me. There was a time I never thought I would ever say those words and sincerely mean it. I smiled genuinely several times today. I laughed and talked and joked and sang. I lived today. Change can be painful. But it can also bring blessings and happiness and new experiences. The thing is, to tell the truth, I'm almost afraid to be too happy. All of this feels too fragile and I'm reminded that it may all too soon disappear. |