A little breath
Soft hands, downy hair
Untouched and unbroken
No scars on wrists
Or knees from a fall
Just hands and feet and trusting eyes
Everything just as God made it.
"It is impossible to convey the life-sensation of any given epoch of one's existence--that which makes its truth, its meaning--its subtle and penetrating essence. It is impossible. We live, as we dream--alone."
-Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness
I played tennis with my brother earlier today, or yesterday, technically, since it's now past midnight. I stopped for a while and the silence, or rather the absence of talking and the sound of bouncing tennis balls and the sound of the wind through the trees and the crickets made me remember the many parks I have been in as a kid. I remember the free tennis lessons every Saturday at this one park, and the other parks that we used to go to just to play tennis, since there wasn't a court in our neighborhood. So much has changed since then. It's kind of sad how fast life goes by and how things have to change. But I don't dwell on it, because it makes me sad to think about it. I'm not a kid anymore.
I remember when I was younger and my dad would take us to the park and do laps around the 1/4 mile track on our bikes for "physical education". We were home schooled for most of elementary school. We did aerobics in our living room, and laps in the backyard. He taught us how to play soccer. We had swimming lessons and karate lessons and piano and violin lessons, played basketball in the community center gyms. I met my best friend in grade 5 in a community center gym, playing basketball. We lost contact after I moved.
It's not being a kid I miss, it's just that it's....it's hard to explain, but I 'm sure everyone knows the feeling of missing a time in your life that is gone forever and that you can't ever get back.
Just finished reading The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet by Rief Larsen.
Usually, when I read a book, I feel the end coming. Obviously, the section of the book you are holding in your right hand gets noticeably thinner, and all the events wrap up into some sort of conclusion. But for whatever reason, the ending to this book came upon me as a surprise. I had expected at least a few more pages, so I had a kind of small shock when I turned the page and it was blank. I thought: Really?! It's over already??
I wanted to know the rest of the story, the answers to those unanswered questions.
Not that the ending was bad. It was really very good. Beautiful even. I loved the ending.