Country music always makes me feel like crying. I don't know why I'm having so much trouble concentrating. I've been sitting in the library for the past 5 hrs trying to finish a paper, and I've written probably less than 20 sentences...This usually doesn't happen to me.
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Life is a funny thing. Some days we feel hopeless and lost, and then all of a sudden, when we aren't looking for it, something beautiful is born.
It's too easy to waste time. It's easy to put things off and say it'll be done later, but later never comes. Sometimes you can become so used to living in the shadows of your misfortunes of the past that you forget you are free, that you can live and accomplish and conquer, that you are not what the past made you believe you were. Leave the past in the past and live. I keep forgetting that bad days don't last forever. My days may have been filled with darkness and pain, but God gives me hope and strength; it is He who lights the path that is my tomorrow. Just watched this on TED Talks. It moved me to tears. Can't sleep.
I'm a mess. I smile around people, but when I'm alone with my thoughts, I feel like crying. On Friday, I burst into tears walking down a hallway. Life is getting better, but there are all these things that keep popping up that let me know that I still have a long way to go. It's hard not to get a little discouraged with no support. I've been trying to drown out my thoughts all day. The sun won't shine tomorrow.
At least that's what the weather forecast predicts.... I'm supposed to be writing a paper due 1st thing tomorrow morning, and here I am, writing a post in a blog that almost nobody reads.
Being this exhausted is making me ridiculously emotional.
I have got to stop procrastinating.
I got an hour of sleep last night because I had this paper to write. I finished it, and I was amazed because all night I felt like I was being as productive as I could be under the circumstances. I didn't even feel that sleepy this morning, but it's catching up to me now. I have two more classes today, and I'm having trouble even making this blog coherent. I don't feel sleepy, but I feel so out of it. It was supposed to be an 8 page paper, double spaced, so I figured I had to write at least four pages. I was aiming for 6. I soon discovered that I did not have enough information to easily make 6 pages, so I went through my paper and added some more sentences, to make everything flow better and added more words here and there, trying not to make it obvious that I was just adding length. When I finally finished @ about 6:30 this AM, I thought it looked pretty good. I figured I had about an 79-80% paper. So I went to sleep, woke @ about 7:30, and when I got to school, I read it again, and everything seemed so messed up. Maybe a 75%. I have no idea if it's good or bad. The sad thing is, I only ended up with 5 1/2 pages, which is almost 3 pages single spaced. I stayed up all night writing 3 pages. That's ridiculous. I seriously need to sleep right now. |